Hating Women, Beating Women, Forsaking Family

I hope my ex is enjoying the violent, misogynist movement he’s aligned himself with. At one point he at least pretended to be feminist and anti-violence. If he hasn’t suffered cognitive dissonance by now over the modus operandi of his beloved support group, then his moral compass has drifted very far indeed.

And no, I’m not talking about choosing to cross-dress or even call himself a woman, which he did quite peacefully for many months before quite literally joining a sect, lying to me and others about it, letting its members tell him what to think and breaking contact with me, his brother, and anyone else who didn’t share or pretend to share his every view.

As an aside, signs of a cult: “Contact with the outside world — often including family — is discouraged, and family is redefined as the group itself.” “Increasing isolation from family and old friends unless they demonstrate an interest in the group.”

Trans Activists Beat 60-Year Old Woman after Stalking Feminist Meetup

Just days ago, trans activists stalked a feminist group holding a talk, posted threats online, continued to stalk the group after they cancelled citing “safety concerns,” continued to stalk them after they changed locations to mitigate the threat, planned an attack online, and then followed through with it. Their complaint was that they weren’t “represented” at the talk, even though a trans woman spoke (just not one whose views they prefer) and two of their representatives voluntarily cancelled.




Trans Activists Destroy Books, Harass Feminists, and Vandalize Vancouver Women’s Library

The library had pro-trans books but had the audacity to have books criticizing gender roles too. This happened a few months ago. Video on second link.



Anti-Lesbian Trans Activists March Twirling Baseball Bats at San Francisco Dyke March

Happened early this year. They were angry that lesbians don’t date them.


And the Usual Everyday Anti-Women Violence:

(Featuring “Choke on my girl dick,” “I’ll shit in your mouth,” “I want to rape you,” and other perennial favorites)











Liberal Values Don’t Apply

An ex-friend of mine has jumped on the trans bandwagon. A year ago he and his long-term girlfriend (now broken up, what a surprise) were the ultimate underemployed, granola, anti-establishment hippies.

Now, of course, he’s a devotee of Lancome Voluminous Lash Booster and Big Pharma.

All around me I’m watching liberals:

  • Criticize consumerism and capitalism. Unless you’re trans, in which case you require thousands of dollars in make-up, clothing, surgery, and drugs.
  • Criticize Big Pharma, plastic surgery and the medicalization of personality variance. Unless you’re trans, in which case every cosmetic procedure you want is a life-or-death need and you should totally sign up for dangerous elective surgeries and lifelong dependency on off-label drugs.
  • Promote self-acceptance and criticize body-shaming. Unless you’re trans. Then your body is wrong and should be fixed.
  • Criticize gender stereotypes as harmful to women. Unless you’re trans. Then they are an innate feature of your brain and a noble form of self-expression.
  • Promote teaching children that they can be anything they want to be; rearing them in a hands-off way to encourage their self-expression; treating their bodies as inviolate. Unless their behavior fails to reinforce gender stereotypes. Then they’re probably trans and should be funneled into a course of action that ensures that their bodies will match society’s assessment of their personalities.
  • Uphold free speech, decry censorship, vilify bullying. Unless someone speaks on a philosophy (like radical feminism) or a material reality (like a uterus) that makes a trans person feel left out. Then that person should be no-platformed, silenced, harrassed, doxxed, gotten fired from their job and told to die in a fire. Or at least it’s justified, especially if they’re female.
  • Celebrate womanhood. Unless that means making a vulva cupcake; putting on a production of the Vagina Monologues; speaking on menstruation, fertility, pregnancy, miscarriage, abortion, birth control, female socialization; or gathering together exclusively, because a trans person might not be able to identify with that stuff. If you want to celebrate womanhood, you can play a Shania Twain song about it.
  • Promote taking responsibility for your own happiness and not caring what other people think. Unless you’re trans. Then what other people think and say can literally kill you and you should coerce them to fall in line, with legal measures if necessary.

Guess who else loves capitalism, consumerism, and Big Pharma? Guess who else wants you to get rid of that stray hair on your face and get a boob job so you can look prettier? Guess who else thinks kids ought to play games appropriate for their sex? Guess who else wants women to shut up about their periods and their issues? Guess who thinks wearing dresses threatens manhood and probably kicked some guys’ asses for it in high school?


What’s more likely? That trans people are so different from the rest of the population, that liberal values can’t and don’t apply?

Or that liberals, who understandably want to be nice to people superficially aligned with the LGB movement,  are in reaction-mode, trying very hard to avoid getting yelled at by loud people on the Internet?

Let them eat text: The real politics of postmodernism

This is one of the most brilliant things I’ve read in a long time. Written in 1999 and very prophetic.


“More frequently than I wish, after offering my perspective on a particular event or theory, interns will reply to me, ‘You can’t say that.’ My usual reply is, ‘I just did.’ I don’t mean to be flip in my response, but I am trying to communicate that you can in fact state your opinion without self-censorship or an overexaggerated reluctance to say something that others disagree with. You can in fact state things clearly and concretely, however controversial. Others can disagree, but you do, after all, get to say things…

If you are willing to say something definitive, someone somewhere is bound to disagree. If you are saying something with which no one disagrees or no one feels is wrong, you are probably not challenging the status quo (or anything for that matter)…

[In postmodernism,] any attempt to create bonds between oppressed individuals or to raise consciousness about how individual experiences are really reflective of larger social forces is reinterpreted as silencing other voices… Any attempt to make generalizations is seen as silencing and rendering invisible those people for whom the generalization does not apply. This defies a basic understanding of the concept of a generalization–of course it is not true for every single person in the group–it is, after all, a generalization. Exceptions alone do not, however, disprove the validity of generalizations… To say that the generalization is not true simply because a few people do not fit it, is ludicrous and leaves us unable to describe or name even the most obvious social norms…

The net effect is a lot of women’s studies students saying, ‘You can’t really say that,’ about even the most basic truths…

There is not an emphasis among postmodern theorists for building a critical mass of people united in a social movement which could begin to effect changes at the social level. There is instead… a naive and libertarian emphasis on individual actions and choices as though the cumulative effect of each isolated individual choice or action will effect largescale social transformation…

Postmodernism came into vogue in academia just when the voices of women and people of color began to assert a significant presence there. It seems that when groups other than those in power attempt to say things, suddenly truth dissolves into meaninglessness. This is a little too coincidental for my taste.

The coincidence becomes even more striking when it becomes apparent that this is not the first time this has happened. Right after the first wave of feminism, in the 1920s, when women had made some advances, had gotten the vote, and began to gain some access to academia, another nihilistic kind of theorizing became the rage in academia–relativism and existentialism… again, suddenly nothing was meaningful anymore, everything was relative, and meaninglessness was lauded as high theory…

I suggest that postmodernism is nothing more than the new relativism and that relativistic theories emerge as a new line of defense when power structures are becoming threatened.

Notwithstanding postmodernism’s purported intention to deconstruct social norms and by so doing, make way for changes, its actual effect is to atomize peoples’ experiences, obliterate the potential for solidarity, silence articulate and forthright speech, and render passionate convictions meaningless. It leaves us unable to condemn anything as wrong or oppressive with clarity, certainty, or conviction.

Postmodernism is a theory which denounces the act of theorizing, it is speech that silences voices, it is writing that stultifies and obscures, it is a position which advocates no position at all, it is a politics which refuses to take a stand on anything.”


FROM: off our backs, August/September 1999, V.29; N.8 p. 7, Word Count: 2852

by Karla Mantilla

“After doing some reading in postmodern theoretical texts, several things about the theory suddenly struck me as incongruous. I have been trying to see not just what postmodern theorists say about their theory, but more importantly, how postmodern theory functions in the world–what are the effects of adopting postmodern thinking and theorizing. What became clear to me after some reading was that the overarching effect of postmodernism is to silence thinking and speaking, both personally and politically. I am aware that this is a rather outrageous statement given the attention postmodern theory pays to privileging the voices of

marginalized people, to giving voice to those previously unheard, and to investigating the silences embedded in the dominant discourse (to sling a little postmodern verbiage myself). However, in a deep reading of how postmodern theory functions…

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On Being Defined by Your Vagina

So often, on a corner of the internet somewhere, a MtF who wants to share in female oppression complains that women should not be “defined by their vaginas.” They lament that women speak as though we are one big giant walking vagina and that we could and should just quit thinking about our oh so unimportant nether regions.

The mistake that men, and thus “trans women,” make, is assuming that having a vagina is analogous to having a dick.

Having a dick is no big deal. Sometimes you stick it in something and it feels good, and that’s the end of the significance of having a dick. Having a dick is like having an elbow. To men, it doesn’t make any more sense to be defined by your dick than it does to be defined by your elbow.

The ability to see your sexual organ as a mere body part is a male privilege. Men are uniquely able to disassociate from their sex organs, their sex, and reproduction. Men are uniquely able to see sex organs as unrelated to social standing, their safety or even their likelihood of raising a child. The fact that men can’t tell that having a vagina is not analagous to having a dick shows a tremendous lack of imagination — in other words, people who don’t have vaginas don’t know what it’s like to have them. Imagine that. It’s almost as if men aren’t good representatives for what being a woman is all about.

Males are able to imagine, and do imagine, that penises and vaginas are both things you might perform sex on or with and little more. The fact that any male considers a “neovagina” to be even remotely similar to a vagina attests to that fact. The neovagina is nothing more than a sheath for a penis, and only a male person with male privilege thinks of a vagina as largely a dick holder.

It’s probably pretty hard for a male to imagine living with the responsibility of having a vagina. With the knowledge that if you’re not ever-vigiliant, 24/7 for the thirty years in which you are fertile, an entire human being might come out of your body and demand every resource you have or can acquire for the next twenty plus years. Yes, even infertile women, who generally don’t know they’re infertile until they try to have children. And yes, even sexually inactive women and lesbians, because rape exists and is common.

While men are failing to get their socks into the laundry hamper every week, most heterosexual women are remembering to take a pill on time every single day with life or death consequences if they fail. While men are skipping their physical for the third year in a row, women are scheduling and making it to the doctor’s visits that make acquiring that birth control possible. To say nothing of the tremendous responsibility a woman faces if she does conceive, carry, bear and raise a child.

Our vaginas bathe us in blood a quarter of the time, requiring our attention every hour, demanding of us care and laundry chores and expense of which males cannot dream. For many of us, endometriosis and fibroids and hemorrhaging and miscarriages and abortions and ablations and D&Cs and PCOS and UTIs and vulvodynia and vagismus and yeast infections and menopause are a concern.

What concerns do male reproductive organs bring? Cancer, which also happens to female reproductive organs, and everyone’s non-reproductive organs.

And because rape exists and is common, and largely happens to women, and has far greater consequences for female victims than for male victims, our vaginas limit our movement through the world. There are places and situations and hours of the evening in which we simply don’t go, or we watch our back and don’t have any fun when we do go, because those places and situations and hours of the evening are full of people who want to hurt us. They want to hurt us because we have vaginas. If they wanted to hurt us because we wear lipstick, then believe me, we’d sometimes wipe the lipstick off and get out there and enjoy all the sights and sounds that the world has to offer, any time of day or night. It’s easy for someone — a male — to imagine that oppression is about wearing lipstick, because wearing lipstick is the only part of “being a woman” he has experience with. And males hate to feel left out.

And then there’s all that other stuff. The being told we’re stupid and bad at math. The war against our health needs. The pathologizing of our personalities. The unequal pay and impaired access to certain clubs and careers and political positions. Our absence as characters in books and movies. The denial of ourselves as fully human.

The denial of our sexuality except in relation to whether it benefits men. The rigged system that punishes us no matter how we use our vaginas sexually, whether a little (prude), a lot (slut), or never (spinster). The ubiquitous and enthusiastic portrayal of our abuse, and the sexualization of it, in advertisements, in television shows, in porn. These are things that happen to people with vaginas. When we try to forget about them, someone reminds us that they make us vulnerable, that they make us lesser, that they make us unclean, that they make us stupid.

Oppression isn’t tied to male bodies. Oppression is tied to female bodies. It’s no wonder that males who can opt in or out of oppression don’t understand what it’s like to live in an oppressed body.

Even if we could quit thinking about our vaginas, other people, especially men, would continue to remind us, with every move we make, that we have them.

For men, the significance of a vagina lies in its use for fucking. For women, its role in fucking is the least of its significance.


Another One Bites the Dust

It appears that one of my ex-friends who hate-read and then dropped me after my ex went on his rampage has gotten a dose of the trendy new medicine.

Still mad at me, J?

Funny how these relationships accidentally mysteriously somehow fail no matter what the partner’s ideology is and how much she celebrates and supports this totally healthy happy development.

I’m torn between telling you to go to hell, and telling you all is forgiven and let’s have coffee and chat, because your life as a trans widow is about to be hell.

Sacrificing Truth to avoid Confronting Power

“Queer theorists see the intimate connection between biological sex and oppression, and they react by dismantling the notion of biological sex; feminists see the intimate connection between biological sex and oppression, and they react by dismantling oppression. That’s the fundamental difference between liberals and radicals; one sacrifices truth to avoid confronting power, and one confronts power to avoid sacrificing truth.”

View story at Medium.com