The woke misogynist is a guy who talks a big game about gender equality and consent, uses vocabulary like “triggering” without rolling his eyes, wears a pussy hat to the Women’s March, prefers to fuck feminists and may freely call himself one, too—then turns around and harasses you, assaults you, or belittles you.
Perhaps his behavior throws you off because, unlike the whimpster or emosogynist of the aughts, he’s confident in himself and his pro-woman bonafides. Or, most likely, because his misogyny is more ambiguous and subtle than that of, say, Bill Cosby or Roger Ailes or Donald Trump.
My ex has always lived with a deep crisis of self-esteem. Before we lived together he once covered an entire poster board with statements about how much he hated himself and hid it under his bed. I found it on accident while looking for something I’d left at his apartment.
His self-esteem crisis only deepened when he came out as transgender (though he often says otherwise to people who didn’t have to experience the hellish fallout of that revelation).
Here’s a fail-proof recipe for a self-esteem crisis:
- I am x
- Yet I am terrible at being x
This is not only cognitive dissonance, which is never any good for anybody, but it’s a cognitive dissonance that leaves the sufferer with no way to succeed at, or even escape the shame of, just being.
I have experience with this as I had a fucked-up childhood. However, I learned to get past it at a very young age. My ex used to ask me how to have better self-esteem, as mine is remarkably good.
He started out feeling that he was a man and that he didn’t make a good man (he wasn’t good enough at sports, he disappointed his dad, the usual stuff).
Then he moved into feeling that he was a woman and now fights a constant feeling that he doesn’t make a good woman (he doesn’t look right, he isn’t accepted by everyone, and so forth).
In light of this dilemma, it’s a wonder more people don’t land on “nonbinary” and stay there, where it would seem they could not fail. The pernicious reach of patriarchy, I guess: everyone must conform to male supremacy or join the sexay ranks of female submissiveness.
Below are the two choices of a person in my ex’s position.
The solution to the first is to learn to love thyself. This has always been the psychology field’s solution to all self-esteem crises, save transgenderism which somehow seems to make itself the exception to every rule.
The solution to the second is a literally insurmountable (point 7), sometimes irreversible (point 2) list of tedious (point 3) actions that must be performed by the sufferer forever. Is it any wonder that solution hasn’t improved outcomes for dysphoria sufferers?
|The Old Dilemma||The New Dilemma|
|The Proposed Solution|
|This isn’t easy, but is it really worse –>||…than this?|
This is basic and obvious, but apparently it needs to be said.
When white people don’t want black people at their water fountains, that’s the oppressor class withholding resources they control from the oppressed class.
When females don’t want males in their bathrooms, that’s the oppressed class seeking refuge from the oppressor class.
A better analogy would be white people demanding to speak at Black Expo.
Or Rachel Dolezal demanding access to a black scholarship.
Or white people being offended at Malcom X for being a separatist.
Or talking about “reverse racism.”
Or saying “all lives matter.”
All of these things have happened, and they were recognized as bullshit, as they should be.
Nevertheless, she persisted.
“Last night we had to push through physical intimidation and lots of verbal nonsense to enter the new Vancouver Women’s Library. Anti-feminist protesters [were] asked to leave when they tried to tear down feminist posters… Police had to be called for fear of destruction of the space and the safety of library patrons inside. The protesters held signs and shouted at people entering the space. They poured wine over the books. They smoked inside when asked not to. They pulled the fire alarm. Some of them tried to bar then pushed women entering the space… Ridiculous demands were made, such as the stepping down of founding member Emily (for having volunteered at and supporting a shelter for women fleeing male violence), creation of a board of directors (must everything be Mc-incorporated?), and the removal of [over 20] books”
The books they want banned “focus on female exploitation, male supremacy, violence against women, reproductive freedom, lesbian identity, women’s health and buddhist mindfulness”:
Admission Accomplished by Jill Johnston, Against Sadomasochism by Robin R. Linden, Darlene R. Pagano, Diana E. Russell, and Susan Leigh Star, Amazon Odyssey: Collection of Writings by Ti-Grace Atkinson, Buddhism after Patriarchy by Rita M. Gross, The Female Man by Joana Russ, Female Sexual Slavery by Kathleen Barry, Feminism Unmodified by Catharine A. Mackinnon, First Buddhist Women: Poems and Stories of Awakening by Susan Murcott, Gyn/Ecology by Mary Daly, The Idea of Prostitution by Sheila Jeffreys, The Industrial Vagina: The Political Economy of the Global Sex Trade by Sheila Jeffreys, Intercourse by Andrea Dworkin, The Lesbian Heresy by Sheila Jeffreys, Nine Parts of Desire: The Hidden World of Islamic Women by Geraldine Brooks, Not a Choice, Not a Job: Exposing the Myths about Prostitution and the Global Sex Trade by Janice Raymond, Not for Sale: Feminists Resisting Prostitution and Pornography-Of Women Born by Adrienne Rich, Pornography: Men Possessing Women by Andrea Dworkin, Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach, The Sexual Liberals and the Attack on Feminism by Janice Raymond, and Women As Wombs: Reproductive Technologies and the Battle over Women’s Freedom by Janice Raymond.
“Disturbing updates: a library visitor… was physically assaulted last night and prevented from entering the building by protesters who locked and barred the entrance unbeknownst to the organizers.”
Sign petition and donate: https://www.change.org/p/protect-feminist-books-at-vancouver-women-s-library
And if you don’t like a book, suck it up and write a better book.
From Derrick Jensen’s Deep Green Resistance interview with Mary Lou Singleton on midwifery:
“This is happening everywhere in… everything to do with women’s culture… it’s kind of being hijacked by right now by this postmodern queer theory movement of uh… there’s no such thing as a woman. There is no material reality. ‘Woman’ is what anybody says a woman is.
And I think this… obviously I’ve done a ton of thinking about this and why is it so deeply upsetting to me, and I do think that if we look at larger cultural forces there is this enormous well-funded transhumanist movement trying to completely untether humanity from our connection to the earth, from our understanding of ourselves as a living organism among other living organisms on the living system that is this planet. This movement is very frightening to me.
And I think that transgenderism falls under that umbrella of trying to completely divorce ourselves from being living creatures with a wild side to ourselves, and you know, we are here among other creatures and we’re not superior to other creatures, we’re not different from them. And the ways we’re different are the ways we shouldn’t be cultivating.” – Mary Lou Singleton