To be gay is to be exclusively same-sex attracted. This has been known for decades and has always been the basis for the fight for gay rights. That any other definition has arisen is, in itself, absurd. But it has, and that alternative definition has taken over mainstream LGBT reporting.
And that definition, as we will see, makes it literally impossible for anyone to assert that they are innately gay or lesbian. That’s a problem for gay rights.
Make no mistake. Everyone knows that gay people are same-sex attracted, especially gay people. Some gay people admit it, like this guy. Others pretend to accept the new definition even as they reject it. (There is hell to pay for admitting it, after all, and some aren’t ready.)
I know a gold-star, older lesbian couple who wouldn’t date my ex-husband if he was the last “woman” on earth. This isn’t because they are mean. This is because their sexual orientation is real. Yet, because they are gay-married, white, middle-class icons in their local LGBT community, because of some prominent activism they did for gay rights, they are neck-deep in kissing the asses of the male-dominated gay and trans rights movement. One of them was quick to yell at me for not properly keeping up the pretense.
Patriarchy has been good enough to them that they’d rather throw younger lesbians under the bus than say out loud that they aren’t interested in my ex-husband’s dick. And that they still won’t be interested in it if he gets it surgically inverted, swallows a boatload of hormones and wears the prettiest frock at the mall.
And yes, they are throwing younger lesbians under the bus. I personally know a young lesbian in real life who was coerced into sexual activity with “trans women” on two separate occasions because her young “queer” community, aided and abetted by the complacency of my comfy suburban gold-star ex-friends, laid a massive guilt trip on her for her intuition that males aren’t lesbians and for her rejection of their poor, oppressed, alternative-fact-female bodies. She left these experiences feeling molested, by both the males and by the allies who pressured her. She’s in therapy over it and has broken down in tears about it several times in my presence.
Good job, M.L.
But hey, you’ve got yours, and that’s what’s important. Maybe you’d like to talk to her about why it was worth it to you. I’ll get you a coffee date with her.
And my millennial friend is not the only one. Those young lesbians who pressured her may have to sexually betray themselves a few times before they relearn what their forebears fought for and largely won nearly fifty years ago: that same-sex attraction is real. And ok. And does not need to be repaired.
Corrective rape of lesbians is real and it’s wearing a new dress.
Here are some of the explicit ways modern transgender activism undermines gay rights and indeed, the very definition of homosexuality.
Straight People are Gay, and Gay People Are Straight
Thanks to the mantra “trans women are women” and the social punishment doled out to those who don’t repeat it, a whole host of absurd and harmful corollaries have ridden in on its coattails.
One of these is that male-born “trans women” who date men are straight and those who date women are gay.
Think about this. It means that if Ru Paul decided to transition, he’d suddenly become straight. And if Arnold Schwarzenegger transitioned, and continued to date his trophy girlfriend Heather who is half his age, he’d suddenly become gay. A lesbian, to be precise.
But which of these men likely felt the wrath of homophobic bullies as a child? Which had the crisis of conscience and self-esteem that comes from hearing, by the church and society at large, that your very being is aberrant and sinful? Which came out to his parents at a young age, with all the family drama that entails? Which had to sneak around to go on a date, and didn’t dare hold hands in public? Which spent decades going to gay bars and participating in gay rights activism?
And what does being gay even mean politically, when every experience associated with it is to be discarded and forgotten when gay men transition? Or when it can be appropriated by straight dudes who’ve never endured the struggle?
It’s Impossible to Be Gay without External Permission
The new definition of gay and lesbian, thanks to transgender activism, has become “same-gender attraction.” That means that gay men are people who like suits and ties, whatever their sex, and lesbians are people who like lipstick, whatever their sex. (Those who assert an interest in a particular sex are disparaged as “genital fetishists” now, even though the definition of fetish explicitly excludes genital interest. Because genital interest is how normal sexuality works.)
Actually, it’s worse than that. Since everyone is the “gender” they say they are, lesbians are people who like other people who announce that they are women, whether they wear lipstick or not.
Remember: “trans women are women.” And the definition of “woman” is now “anyone who says they’re a woman.”
That means pre-op people. Non-op people. People who dress a variety of ways, both consistent and inconsistent with their sex and even their professed “gender.” Danielle Muscato is one of these “women.” Riley J. Dennis is one of these “women.” Alok Vaid Menon is one of these “women” (at least on some days.)
And, it is bigotry to reject transgender people as romantic partners.
But at the same time, we can’t recognize transgender people until they tell us they are transgender.
So by current transgender ideology, attraction is not automatic and innate. Attraction is something you’re allowed to experience only after the people you meet announce their gender to you. At that point, you should desire or reject them accordingly or your sexual orientation must be called into question.
So if you’re a lesbian, you shouldn’t have been attracted to Alok in 1990. But today, you should be. And if, tomorrow, Alok aligns himself with the male “gender,” you should stop again. You may have thought you knew your sexual orientation, and that it was an integral and innate part of you, but it turns out you’re wrong. The nature of your sexual desires depend entirely upon the whims of what other people say about themselves. Unless you’re a bigot, of course.
Likewise, if you happen to have a crush on Ellen or Rachel Maddow, and they become one of the many lesbians who decides to transition, you’ll have to turn in your lesbian card. Because poof! At that moment you’ll become attracted to men.
Gay and Straight and Bi are Interchangeable Terms
The implication of gay and lesbian being defined as “same-gender” attraction, in practice, is that gays and lesbians must practice bisexuality. After all, at any moment someone could identify himself into your preferred gender and you’d become an instant bigot if you didn’t consider being attracted to him.
At the same time, a woman who calls herself “bisexual” or “pansexual” could, in practice, date only men, if that meant dating both men who identify as men and men who identify as something else. Why shouldn’t straight people get themselves some of that sweet queer cred? Oppression is so “in.”
Only Gays and Lesbians Need Corrected
Your straight, single dad doesn’t want to go on a date with my ex-husband any more than my suburban lesbian friend does. Funny how, when it comes to heterosexuality, everyone knows exactly what it is. Only when we talk about gays and lesbians do we become confused about who they are, who they should be, and whether their boundaries need evaluated or broken down.
You can’t support gay rights while tearing down gay rights at every turn. Let gay people be gay. Let trans people find their validation within themselves instead of by forcing gays, lesbians and their allies to lie to and betray themselves and each other.