I Dare You

Dear third wave feminists, LGBQ community, LGBTQ allies, liberals, and assorted other regular people:

Do you believe that any of the following things are true? It’s a rhetorical question, because I know for a fact that some of you believe some of these things. But bear with me for a moment.

If you don’t believe a single one of these things is true, you are hereby dismissed. I am not talking to you. I am baffled by you, but I am not talking to you.

But if you believe that some of these are true, even in the darkest, most secret part of your heart, I have a dare for you. I dare you to say them to a male-born transgender activist online and in public. You can hint at them, say them sheepishly, say them apologetically, if you like. You can even just link to someone else who’s saying them, without comment. If nothing else, try saying them anonymously under a fake name.

And see what happens.

Because these are morally neutral statements, aren’t they? And you should be able to say something morally neutral and true in public, without fear of retaliation or violence.

Depending on how deeply you’ve looked into transgender activism, you may or may not already know that saying these things will get you ostracized at best and possibly sabotaged and threatened. So I don’t actually want you to do it.

But I do want you to think about what it means when a group of people has the kind of control over you required to make you utterly unwilling to speak for yourself about something you wholeheartedly believe.

Are you being bullied?

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9 thoughts on “I Dare You

  1. wow! some of those links! I clicked on “4 ‘Body Positive’ Phrases That Exclude Trans People (And What To Say Instead)”. WOW. That article is like “i’m not OK and how dare you tell me I am”. The crazy thing is that the phrase that they are replacing was fine and the replacement meant the same thing. It’s just that the author gets to be right and everyone else is wrong.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Yeah, it’s actually really bizarre the way this article (and trans activists in general) see themselves as exempt or some sort of counterexample for whom the message of accepting your body does not really apply.

      “But [the ‘phrase your body is already perfect’] doesn’t reflect the realities of transgender people.”

      Well no kidding. It doesn’t reflect the “reality” of *anyone* it’s addressing. That’s kind of the point. It doesn’t reflect the “reality” of anorexics either, but they too are wrong and will starve if someone doesn’t have the compassion to disagree with them. The implication of this argument is that while some people have irrational body issues that they should be taught to get over, others, namely trans people, are objectively hideous so *their* self-hatred, uniquely among humans, is wholly warranted.

      “For trans people, our bodies can be a source of trauma and pain. ”

      Uh, yeah. You. And women. And anorexics. And fat people. And old people. THAT’S KIND OF THE POINT OF THE MESSAGE.

      “we see our bodies as… anything but “perfect.”

      Uh, right? THAT’S WHY THE MESSAGE IS FOR YOU. Did you think the message was for Scarlett Johansson?

      I understand why transgender people feel this way, just as I understand why anorexics do. They have body dysmorphic disorder and aren’t currently sane enough to see their self-worth. What I think is especially troubling is that allies have jumped on the bandwagon and are signal-boosting the idea that body positivity is only for those people whose bodies don’t actually suck the way trans bodies do.

      Liked by 2 people

      • What I find most disturbing is the “born in the wrong body” message that parents and gender therapists repeat over and over again to gender dysphoric children. Nobody would EVER say something like this to or about a child with any other type of medical or psychological problem/disorder. Organizations like Easter Seals or the Muscular Dystrophy Association do not put out photos of kids in wheelchairs with captions about how little Aidan or Sophie was born in the wrong body, please help. Disability rights activists would be livid!

        Liked by 3 people

  2. Pingback: I Dare You | afowler42
  3. I think woman are probably far more evolved than men in the sense that men are completely free to destroy whats around them. If woman were completely free from the brutality of men the world would evolve much faster. That process as horrific and as embarrassing as it is to talk about it being white and male, I think we are seeing men trying to escape themselves as quickly as possible… I think if you had a lobster arm for a day, people would revile you but I think somewhere in that experience you would love your lobster arm.

    Like

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