The Pursuit of Oppression, Part 2

Recently in a Facebook group based on cute animal pictures, I witnessed the archetypal trans activist meltdown at its finest.

A random dude said something not very cool, and very much off-topic for that matter, and a bunch of other random dudes and dudettes called him out on it. So far, so good.

But one of the people who called him out was a 20-year-old MtF; we’ll call him Iridessa. Not-cool dude took a look at Iridessa’s profile photos, which were a masturbatory fest of pornified half-naked selfies with blowing hair, pouting lips, and violent chest clenching, coupled with his obvious maleness and use of female pronouns, and immediately knew just what was up.

I’ve never seen a young woman post selfies like these, by the way — she’d get eaten alive. I wonder if Iridessa is aware of the privilege he possesses in displaying himself so fearlessly, confident that this will bring him a barrage of compliments instead of the credible rape threats it would bring a woman. I also wonder if he knows that the schtick he’s building his identity upon will fail him when he’s 40. But these are questions for another post.

To get back to the story, not-cool dude then said something to the effect that Iridessa had an anxiety disorder that was alleviated by wearing women’s underwear, and that it was too bad that the “suffocating taboo” of that fact caused Iridessa to need to believe that he is a woman.

It’s too bad not-cool dude was not cool, actually, because what he said struck me as fairly insightful. I mean, let’s think about why the MtF wears women’s panties. It isn’t because of that oft-repeated trope that they need to “present” to the outer world the authentic identity they feel inside, is it? Because no one sees those panties but them. And women’s panties aren’t logistically better at holding dicks and balls in place or anything like that — quite the contrary, they’re too skimpy to do that (as I heard first-hand from my ex).

So while the rest of the world is busy wearing undergarments designed for providing coverage, mitigating the effects of gravity, making sports more comfortable, or catching the discharge expected to emanate from the particular genitals they possess — except maybe on date night, to be fair, when undergarments sometimes get less utilitarian — transgender people are choosing underwear based on mysterious motivations that no one’s allowed to question and, even while vehemently refusing to address the matter in one way or the other, pretending that those motivations don’t involve eroticism.

And don’t get me wrong, I’m all for eroticism. But it doesn’t make a man a woman nor does it place him in dire need of breaching the privacy of natal women in the interest of protecting himself from men, whose patriarchal interests his identity apparently prevents him from going out of his way to cater to.

But that’s all actually beside the point I’m here to make. The interesting part of this story is what happened after the comment.

Iridessa gleefully wallowed in his sense of unbearable oppression for a good dozen comments, and as if to parody himself, actually threw around the words “transmisogyny,” “die in a fire,” and “shitlord.” A further dozen posts, some from himself and others from his throng of adoring supporters, continued the oppression-fest even as a few bystanders sheepishly said, “Can we get back to the animal pictures?”

Eventually even one of Iridessa’s supporters said something to the effect of, “The haters aren’t worth it, let’s just let it drop,” to which Iridessa responded “No!” before continuing a point-by-point monologue on the many ways in which he, a middle-class, sex-obsessed white man barely out of high school, who I’d wager still gets money from his parents, is the most oppressed person to ever walk the earth.

(You who can become annoyed by this and then click away from it or put away the Internet for a while, cast not the first stone at those of us who lived with it.)

And I think about the times I’ve seen someone say something racist in social media, and the times I’ve seen a person of color respond. She usually doesn’t feel safe being aggressive or calling names or bringing up the legacy of slavery — even though she’d have every right to — and she usually isn’t showered with compliments for her response. At worst she’s called angry and at best others cower in embarrassment and wait for it to blow over. And God forbid she make her point repeatedly over the course of a couple dozen posts. Even president Obama was advised not to make his More Perfect Union speech because of the fear he’d get branded an “angry black man” who couldn’t move past the unattractive spectacle of victimhood.

What is this new sort of oppression, that gets its sufferers so many accolades? That finds credibility in calling a straight white man a gay minority woman, and grants him all the oppression that entails, even as the attribution gets him applause instead of ostracizing? What is this oppression that can be turned back at will, but instead is prized, cherished and savored?



9 thoughts on “The Pursuit of Oppression, Part 2

    • It’s the expectation that their subjective experiences matter more than anyone else’s observations, on anything, and that other people (especially women) will back them up for being “so brave”, that gives me no illusion what-so-ever that these are men.

      Even the most privileged of women are only this sure of themselves when spouting neo-conservative misogynistic talking points, i.e. talking in support of male interests. See: Trump’s entourage.


  1. do you realize how creepy it sounds when you talk about a stranger’s “refusal to address” their choice of underwear? probably not given the existence of this blog


    • This is my favorite type of troll comment. The “my reading comprehension sucks!” comment. Or maybe the “can’t be bothered to see what’s going on before trashing it” comment.

      I never asked this of a stranger, dude. I asked it of the most intimate person in my life.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Similar to how I normally am not preoccupied with a stranger’s genitals, but I am concerned when that person is demanding entry into spaces reserved for the opposite sex, when a stranger proclaims that their choice of underwear makes them a member of the opposite sex, I take an interest in the real reasons why they’re making that choice of underwear.

      If M2Ts don’t want us worrying about their penis status or the real reasons why they’re wearing frilly underwear contraindicated to the shape of their genitals, they would do well to step off and stop declaring themselves “women”.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Exactly. Trans people love to tell you to stop thinking about their genitals and their underwear, but they’re the one who opened that conversation, and pressed it, and won’t let up on it, and want everyone to change for it.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Why do I feel sad now that I’ve read this? :/

    Since I started reading about trans-stuff I only hear people screaming, I wanted to help myself understand and reduce anxiety, and I uncovered what seems like a never ending war between autogynephilia, feminism and trans.

    How could one stop this?


  3. There was a point in here that you made about what a black person would do when faced with backlash for speaking out over racist comments or oppression. As a woman, I have learned (I suppose that is the best way to say it, “learned”) to basically keep my mouth shut over the seemingly smaller issues that come up on a daily basis. The dismissal when I say something astute. The congratulations when I say something clever–that taken aback surprised look “Oh, hey! You’re funny!…for a girl”. (And of course, these smaller issues play hard on how we are shaped as people and how we perceive ourselves)
    I have learned to not say anything. If I speak up, I am just some crazy feminist, or blowing things out of proportion, or am met with complete silence like I just let out a long squealing fart. I’m not sure how to move forward from that place because we still aren’t being heard (the transgender community is really hitting home on that front). I understand, now, why all the women I knew in my life as a child made those looks when they were dismissed, why they simply rolled their eyes, why they forced themselves to take the bigotry or misogyny lightly. You can’t speak out and be heard when your voice is just passing gas… can make a stink about it, but everyone will just leave the room.


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