Woman Defined as Fuckable Object

“I’m tired of people accusing me of voting with my vagina,” my ex said in a social media thread endorsing Hillary Clinton.

His vagina. “You don’t have a vagina,” I said. He unfriended and blocked me.

Pretending to have a vagina is a salient feature of this transgender business. MtFs aren’t satisfied being gender non-conforming men. And they aren’t satisfied with the idea that they are transwomen, as in people born male who identify as women, as people different from natal women in the ways that they are in fact different. Being a transwoman is not good enough; they want to be indistinguishable from women. The goal is not to tell the world that they are nurturing or kind or that they like to knit or wear pink. Because men can do those things. The end goal is to tell the world that they have a vagina.

Clothing, hormones, surgery, and comments about voting with their vagina are all a means to the end of getting the world to believe that they have a vagina. “Don’t ask about my genitals,” transwomen complain, because they would prefer that you just assume they have a vagina.

It’s called a signal. People drive luxury cars to signal that they are wealthy, fuel-efficient cars to signal that they are tree-huggers, or race cars to signal that they are fast and fun. They buy Prada and Gucci to signal that they are high class. They get tattoos and piercings to signal that they’re counterculture. These signals are designed to get people the types of jobs, friends and social arrangements they prefer.

What does it mean to signal that you have a vagina, and what is the signal for? It doesn’t get you a better job or higher status. It doesn’t even get you a date, if you’re a MtF who likes women.

If Gucci stands for status, what does a vagina stand for? Let’s think about what vaginas do: they bleed, get pregnant, and get fucked.

Transwomen aren’t signaling that they have a vagina in order to get more access to tampons, birth control pills or pap smears, because they don’t need those. Transwomen are signaling that they are sexually submissive. There really isn’t another possibility here. Are they trying to get themselves a prescription for Monostat 7? A Summer’s Eve Douche? A Diva Cup? They don’t need these things, so no. They are trying to be thought of as fuckable.

Dear transwomen: I know the world is bombarding you with the message that women, by definition, are A Thing That Is Fucked, but that’s not actually what we are. And I know that, as a man, as a tourist in the land of Fuckable Object, who has never gotten the amount of sex that you’d prefer to have, being thought of as A Thing That Is Fucked is immensely gratifying to you. And it feels wholesome, and important, and not belittling or scary or an obstacle to opportunities or freedom. Welcome to your privilege. As a woman, we endure oppression and literal rape because of your definition of woman, the definition that women are not people with XX chromosomes or reproductive capacity, but instead are people who lay down and submit to getting fucked in a receptive way.

If you want to lay down and get fucked, I get that. Have fun. But redefining yourself as a woman when you want to lay down and get fucked, because to you women are by definition people who lay down and get fucked, is insulting to us. And is dangerous to us. And does not in fact make you someone who needs access to our bathrooms and locker rooms. As a matter of fact, your definition of us, as Fuckable Objects, keeps you squarely in the camp of Men, who have believed this from the beginning of time, because it helps you justify dismissing us and raping us and keeping us away from jobs and resources. Your desire to lay down and get fucked has not stopped you from thinking and behaving like a man, as evidenced by the way you think of women.

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26 thoughts on “Woman Defined as Fuckable Object

  1. perhaps an alternative possibility could be to frustrate a culture that sees penises as a barrier to femininity. Or perhaps to demand not to be seen as a man anymore (that kind of mis-gendering can come with violence, social and real, as I’m sure you’re aware). Perhaps people are confused enough and worn down enough from being told they are a man to say the opposite. I’d love to hear you justify the claim (Transwomen are signaling that they are sexually submissive) a little bit more outside of this anecdote about your ex. I want that because gender nonconforming people often loathe (not to generalize too much) the idea that our gender signifies a particular sexuality because that misconception is tied up in the mistakes of the sexual revolution that abandoned gender nonconforming people. It’s not that I think you’re entirely mistaken, it’s that I think you’ve missed a deeper analysis and would like to hear that analysis because if you limit womanhood to those with vaginas, you too are reducing woman to an object to be fucked.

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    • No, the presence of a vagina does not mean “to be fucked.” That is you who is making that error.

      Penises are not a barrier to femininity, and I would never say they are. Tell the transgender crowd that, not me. They’re the ones assuming that they must be or pretend to be women when they combine their penises with their “femininity.”

      Liked by 8 people

    • “If you limit womanhood to those with vaginas, you too are reducing woman to an object to be fucked.” Whoa there. I hope you don’t mean that sentence to read the way it sounds as if it reads. Surely you must want to explain whatever it is that you hoped to convey that isn’t quite as horrible as it sounds. I don’t know what the explanation for that sentence can be, but good luck.

      Liked by 2 people

    • Why are you assuming vaginas are ONLY for the use of fucking? Asses and mouthes are too, does having those reduce you to a fuck hole?

      Let’s get honest here: vaginas are about REPRODUCING. And that’s what really separates males from females: the ability to gestate. Females understand this ability is what their oppression hinges on. Men don’t understand how this effects a woman’s life, from the male perspective being feminine is about sex objection.

      I am NOT offended at the fact that women have vaginas, it’s men masquerading as women who are offended by this.

      Liked by 4 people

    • “…(l)imit womanhood to those with vaginas” ?

      The word “woman” means adult female human being. The purpose of the word “woman” is to have a term by which to refer to adult biological female human beings. We have a need and right to have a term that refers to us. As in, only us. That’s what “refers to us” means. And no, you don’t have the right to hone in on the word for us and redefine it, because you wish you were one of us, or delusionally believe you are.

      I threw “biological” in there redundantly, for your sake, alex. Female and woman both inherently refer to female biology.

      “…if you limit womanhood to those with vaginas, you too are reducing woman to an object to be fucked.”

      See? You proved TW’s point. You regard a woman, someone with a vagina, as an object to be fucked.

      Guess what? That is not the purpose of a vagina. Having a vagina doesn’t make any of us (again, “us” referring to biological women: not you) objects. Let alone “objects to be fucked.” Vaginas have numerous wonderful purposes, none of which include “objects to be fucked.”

      Liked by 3 people

  2. “My” MTT insists that the fact that he is sexually submissive and fantasizes about being “taken” (but not by a real man! because he is no homo!) is completely unrelated to him being “a girl inside”. By pure coincidence, he’s both. Of course.

    Liked by 5 people

    • My ex MTT got so offended when I told him this shit was really about him being a closeted masochistic homosexual.

      But that’s EXACTLY what it was about. He dressed in feminine things while masturbating entirely because emasculation heightened his orgasm. Being effiminate stripped him of his agency as a man. His donning thigh highs was just part of his donning hand cuffs, both were bondage implements that made him feel more “surrendered.”

      The reality is straight males don’t fantasize about being submissive to cock. And instead of just owning their homoeroticism they pretend it’s a genetic defect of the brain we should feel sorry for. Which is a DOUBLE injury.

      The first injury is lying to a woman and duping her into a relationship by hiding your sex proclivities. Stealing fromantic her time, resources and affections, often bringing innocent children you saddle her with to top it off. The second Injury is going on to gas light the woman by pretending she’s a bigot for not pretending him and by by proxy herself and all womanhood, are afflicted with “lady brain”.

      But what “lady” runs this kind of head fuckery game on innocent children and fellow women? Typically only MEN can be that fucking narcissistic, dismissive of innocent people, and entitled.

      Liked by 10 people

      • “The reality is straight males don’t fantasize about being submissive to cock.”

        They actually do, in fact, which is why sissy hypno/training pornography is so huge nowadays. It is one of the most common signs of autogynephilia. Their attraction is entirely towards themselves “being” a woman and performing actions that “women are meant for”, AKA being sex objects for men. Bruce Jenner let it slip that he considered the idea of “being treated like a real woman” by a man to be very attractive (read: arousing). It is all an extension of their rotten minds.

        Liked by 2 people

      • Whether they want to admit it or not: a man engaging in sex with another man IS a homosexual act. They can pretend all day they are “straight” to try and escape the inward loathing homophobia creates, but the reality still remains they ARE committing homosexual acts when they engage in sexual activity with a fellow male.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I’ve been thinking about this. For one thing today I read Dorothy Allison’s story “River of Names,” reprinted in the (excellent) Soho Press Book of 80s Short Fiction. Here’s a selection: “I heard all the words, big words, little words, words too terrible to understand. DEAD BY AN ACT OF MAN. With the prick still in them, the broom handle, the tree branch, the grease gun… objects, things not to be believed… whiskey bottles, can openers, grass shears, glass, metal, vegetables… not to be believed, not to be believed” (Peck, ed. 227).

    A few days ago I started reading Johnson’s _The Gender Knot: Unraveling Our Patriarchal Legacy_ (although I decided to stop after the introduction). Anyway, Johnson contends that males are socialized into hyper-competitiveness. In this light, the desire (or need) for a vagina (even if only metaphorical) makes sense: The MtT must have a vagina in order to stay on the field–nothing exists, really, beyond male and female (despite some social striving in some other decade). But the MtT cannot stay a man who “merely” wishes to be a woman. That would sully the male aspect (a patriarchal aspect the MtT is yet loyal to). The MtT must have a vagina in order to be equivalent to woman. And I wonder if what’s being signaled, then is not just sexual submission, but what sexual submission itself signals: Powerlessness, humiliation, lack, death.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I am a transsexual and I agree.

    I do believe, however, there are two types of transsexuals — those who are pushed into living as women and those who want to live as women. I’m a transsexual of the first sort, a homosexual transsexual (HSTS) in that I like men and I was always very effeminate and so I was constantly bullied and outcast until I decided as a teenager that this was the way out, a way to be accepted and a way to get more men and the sort of men I desired. The type that you are talking about are autogynephiles (AGPs). Ranging from fetishistic crossdressers to transsexuals, AGPs love picturing themselves as women. They often consider themselves “lesbians” but sometimes have sex with men because it feeds into their desire to be seen as female.

    Both types are harmful to women. HSTS use womanhood as a way to obtain men (sex, money, and — ideally, at least — the perceived security of marriage). AGPs use men as a way to obtain womanhood. In both types are women defined as “fuckable objects” — we want to be perceived as women so we are considered fuckable by more men. AGPs want to be fucked by men or lesbians in order to better perceive themselves as women.

    I “came out” as trans when I was 16, seeing it as my ticket to a “normal” life. My parents forbade it so I waited until I was 19 to go through the legal and medical process of getting on hormones.

    I’m now 32 and yes, still “living as a woman”. But I still feel the same as when I wrote this 10 years ago. I hate the presence of misogyny in both types of male-to-“female” transgender people. HSTS are borne of homophobia and misogyny in society that hates male effeminacy even more than it does women. AGPs desire to possess womanhood, just as normal hetero men desire to possess individual women. They’re in love with their fantasy woman and are trying to turn themselves into her. They are two different (yet similar) results of a society which makes women into hypersexual objects for male pleasure. We desire men and use the appearance of womanhood to obtain men. AGPs will use many things, including men, in order to embody their fantasy woman.

    When I was 22, I was feeling particularly frustrated. I “passed” well — even most of my friends did not know I was born male, I had lived in the girls’ dorms at school (I simply checked the “F” box and neither the school nor any of my roommates objected), I dated “straight” men, etc. But I still felt I was being “forced” to “live as a woman” and I finally had first-hand experience of sexism, as distinct from the homophobia I grew up with. I wrote a poem about my experiences growing up ostracized, stuck between two worlds of girls and boys. In one stanza, I criticized the idea of male-to-“female” transition, especially the idea that genital surgery is the crowning achievement that really makes a man into a woman, which is just another form of Patriarchal society’s misogynistic hatred of women and their bodies and the gender role women are forced to play.

    —–
    Excerpt from “Queer” (2006)

    They gave me a plan, a timeline, an authorized way to exchange my “male” box for a “female” one.

    They told me to take estrogen, get plastic surgery, dress like a woman, act like a woman, talk like a woman, and even gave me the opportunity for the grand finale — the sex change operation.

    They said, “Look, this is what it means to be female — to have a hole, to be fuckable, to be cockless.”

    They said, “Here, purchase womanhood for only five hundred payments of nineteen ninety-five each!

    “If you call within the next fifteen minutes, you can have a video on how to be a proper woman too!”

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    • Thanks for your polite and thoughtful comment. I sympathize with it in some ways, and don’t sympathize with it in others. My yet-unarticulated views on this might make a good topic for a future post.

      This is a frequent type of comment, by the way. On the one hand, it reads a little too much like: “Only some of us should get away with this appropriation, and I happen to belong to the group that should!” How convenient. While you do blame both groups, it’s clear that you don’t blame them enough to reverse what you’ve done and get out of women’s spaces. But I do realize that might be complicated after a certain point.

      On the other hand, I believe in AGP because I’ve observed it. And we could do worse as a society than minimize (if we can’t eliminate) the number of men threatening the safety of women’s spaces, especially by recognizing and removing those who are most likely to be casual/influenced by trends, fetishists/those who arrived via porn, and heterosexuals.

      “…society that hates male effeminacy even more than it does women”

      I promise you that this is not true. The only reason it seems that way is that hatred of and violence to women is so banal as to be unremarkable.

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