My ex is on hormones now. The grief of losing him has faded a good deal, having mostly made its way into anger, bitterness, and annoyance at losing my comfortable life and having to start over in my late 40s. And at the same time, a bit of guarded excitement at choosing my own path and meeting new people to appreciate and like and desire and perhaps someday love.
But at this news, I feel a new sort of grief. It’s the grief of watching someone I once loved become so thoroughly and apparently irretrievably broken.