The Transgender Trap

“The cognitive dissonance must be excruciating,” a friend of mine said, on the topic of transwomen convincing themselves that they are women.

And yet, as they immerse themselves in trans ideology, there seems to be no good outcome for that cognitive dissonance. When axioms collide with experience, something has to give; that’s when gay Christians lose their religion. As an ex-fundamentalist I have some experience with this process. But trans ideology makes it even more difficult. Transition does not alleviate dysphoria, yet trans ideology punishes those who defect or detransition.

If transwomen accept that they are not women, the only community who understands their gender dysphoria actively rejects, silences and censors them.

If they accept that they are not women, their highly uncomfortable gender dysphoria becomes invisible, so no one can sympathize with it, much less give them the attention, accolades, and applause they’ve received as an “oppressed minority”  (a distinction white men otherwise seldom enjoy).

If they accept that they are not women, and they happen to have hormone-induced breasts or a neovagina, they face the confusion of belonging neither here nor there.

If they accept that they are not women, they may have a lot of difficult forgiving to do if counselors, doctors, partners, peers or even parents pressured them into transition. And they’ll have to forgive themselves for the people they pressured in turn.

If they accept that they are not women, they’ll have to apologize to their friends for their mistake, the days or months or years they’ve spent lecturing them, the privileges they’ve abused, the boundaries they’ve crossed.

But if they tell themselves they are women, they’ll have to reconcile the many daily signs that they are not women: the double takes, being called sir (or dude or brother or dad), hearing their birth name, stories of their past. Women who are uncomfortable with them in bathrooms and locker rooms. People who date women but don’t want to date them. Legal records and documentation of all kinds. Their prostrate exams, their car insurance rates.

If they tell themselves they’re women, they’ll have to keep hating their voices, their hands, their feet, their height, their weight, their shoulders, their hips, their facial and body hair, their testicles, and their penises. They’ll have to keep hating mirrors and clothing tags and shoe sizes.

They’ll have to explain to themselves and others what makes them women, since it isn’t their chromosomes, their reproductive organs, their socialization, their brains, their crime rates, or their hobbies and interests.

There’s a lot to overcome, because there’s a lot of reality out there.

This person couldn’t overcome it. So much for transition as suicide prevention. But even the National Center for Transgender Equality in a brochure on preventing suicide finds suicide rates higher after transition than before.

It would seem that transition (and perhaps all those thought processes that led to it) isn’t the answer. What else is there?

Losing one’s religion is never easy but it worked for me.





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