My ex recently shared a web comic called “How to care for a sad person.” It spoke of wrapping them in a blanket, hugging them, showing them movies and giving them food.
He did this because he is sad and frequently lets the Internet know.
Good list, but I’d like to add my own suggestions for caring for a sad person.
- Tell them they are perfect the way they are. Don’t tell them that their body is wrong, or that the relationship between their body and their personality is wrong, or that there are some good reasons for them to harm their body.
- Don’t romanticize suicide. Don’t normalize the idea that suicide is inevitable for them if they don’t find themselves getting the outcome they’re interested in.
- Don’t train them to place their self worth in falsehoods that are easily and frequently contradicted by reality.
- Don’t tell them that the people who have historically loved them and cared for them when they were sad (spouse, friends, family) are now their enemies for holding unauthorized opinions like “sex organs determine sex.” Don’t train them to reject the compassion of these people who care for them.
- Lead them to a good counselor and let them benefit from the counselor’s professional opinion instead of telling them what their counselor is allowed to think.
- Care about how they got sad in the first place.
Disclaimer: These didn’t work for me, but I stand by them.